blind

As many of you my faithful readers know; I am totally blind. Some you may be reading for the first time and don't know this. So let me fill you in on how I deal with this issue.

I was not born blind. I was born with congential Gloucoma. When I was released from the hospital with mom I received my first of a number of eye surgeries. While I didn't have perfect eye sight it was good enough to do all the typical things a child does. Even after loosing it totally I still did the typical things. Anyway over the years I had many eye Doctor appointments. and after it was all said and done I ended up loosing my sight totally at about the age 10.

I had gone in for an eye surgery and they wanted me to use the rest room I really didn't want to but was forced. While walking to the rest room I was sick to my stomach. this happened not long after returning home. as a result I had some blood vessels break. I remember one morning waking up and not seeing anything at all. this of course scared me and my mom.

In fact the morning this happened I was bumping into a bunch of stuff. Mom thought I was messing around. I cried "I can't see anything." we went in an saw the doctor. for the next 6 weeks I saw nothing. I was home schooled. when my eyes cleared I was taken out of my normal school and put into a school where I would be taught those things I needed.

During this time I will admit I was a mix of emotions. I was sad, angry and confused. Angry because I felt I was lied to. The doctors seemed to make me feel that this would make my eyes all better and i'll admit now not then of course a little at my parents because I was taken out my home school. but most of all for a bit angry at God because he let these adults do this to me. While yes i had many people praying for me and yes I was and am still of course a believer in Jesus. so that helped.

in a nut shell I guess in answer to the question "how do you handle being blind?" one day at a time and with much prayer. The Lord has a reason for this all taking place. I don't totally know why but am seeing it a little more and more each day. Thankfully my parents have never let me use my blindness as an excuse as to "can't" i tried but they wouldn't let me. for that I am thankful. so now for those of you who are struggling. God will make a way and believe him and in yourself and try. there is no "can't" do it and give it a try. if it ends up you are truly unable then you tried and know. you will never know unless you try. I still struggle from time to time with depression like everyone else. and from time to time my blindness bugs me. but it is not a "disability" it is a nuesance. the government says I am disabled or "handicaped" i dispise those terms. some even say "visually challenged" but I am who I am and will continue to move forward.